


Parquet, pizza and pyjamas

by extrastellar



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: M/M, Mild Language, Moving In Together, Pizza, this totally deserves a tag fight me, two assholes in a relationship, what even is this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-11
Updated: 2017-11-11
Packaged: 2019-01-29 10:05:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12628623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/extrastellar/pseuds/extrastellar
Summary: Moving in together might sound like the ultimate couple goal, but actually, it's a pain.





	Parquet, pizza and pyjamas

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 中文 available: [【Translation/授权翻译】木地板，披萨和睡衣](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15283911) by [Carmen_Shing](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Carmen_Shing/pseuds/Carmen_Shing)



> I said I'd be back for this pairing and well, here I am. With this. No more comments needed. Stella out *sashay away*

"How does this house not have a bloody lift?!", Viserys panted and put down the heavy moving box at the top of the stairs.

"It's a Valyrian townhouse from two hundred years ago, of course it doesn't have a lift, damn lizard", Joffrey snarled and pushed the box through the doorway into the bedroom. "There, all done."

Viserys walked into the room and collapsed on one of the boxes, legs shaking from the effort of carrying the boxes. The damn movers couldn't be bribed to keep on working after 10pm so Joffrey and him had heaved most of the boxes upstairs themselves - which was quite a feat considering their less than bulky stature.

"Hey, get up." Joffrey kicked his shin halfheartedly. "Those are my work clothes you're parking your butt on. Move."

"'M tired, get off my back", Viserys grumbled and pushed silver hair out of his face. Gods, he needed a shower.

"Nah." Joffrey sat down on the polished parquet with a huff. His cheeks were flushed with exertion. "You need to cut your hair."

Viserys twirled strands of his hair. "I like that length actually."

"You're having split ends. It looks ratty as fuck." Joffrey peeled off his sweaty T-shirt. "Shower?"

Viserys couldn't help but wink. "Sure."

"Perverted lizard", the blond man snarled, but a yawn stole its spite. "Shit, I'm tired."

Viserys forced himself off the box, becoming slightly dizzy. "It's 2am and we carried boxes for hours, what did you expect?"

Joffrey shrugged, lithe muscles shining with a thin layer of sweat in the dim light. "Dunno. Isn't moving in together supposed to be romantic and shit?"

"Huh?! Who the hell told you that crap?!", Viserys laughed. "Tommen?"

"My sister, you dickhead", Joffrey snapped and shoved Viserys towards the master bedroom's bathroom. "Shower, now. You stink."

"So do you!" Viserys sat on the big tub's rim and pulled off shirt and pants with a grimace. "Hey, wanna order some pizza for later?"

Joffrey was already tapping on his iPhone. "Pineapple as usual?"

"Yeah."

"Done. 'S gonna arrive in half an hour."

Viserys' stomach growled in appreciation and Joffrey smirked.

"Glutton."

"Not ashamed."

The two shed the rest of their clothes and climbed under the shower.

"What the fuck!", Joffrey shrieked and jumped from under the stream. "That's scalding! Shit! Turn it colder!"

"What's wrong with you, this is a nice temperature", Viserys muttered and started rinsing his silver hair turned dark grey from the water.

"You're skin is red! You look like a lobster!", Joffrey hissed and reached past his boyfriend to change the temperature regulation.

Viserys scoffed. "Pussy."

The glare sent his way would have been poison if Joffrey hadn't yawned. Automatically, Viserys had to yawn too.

"I need sleep", the silver-haired man mumbled and placed his forehead on Joffrey's shoulder, just letting the water run down his body.

Joffrey hummed and Viserys felt it more than he heard it. "Same."

Viserys chuckled. "What's that, you admitting a weakness? Is it Sevenmas already?"

Joffrey shoved his head off him. "Fuck you twice."

The other man sighed. "Maybe tomorrow, I really don't have the stamina now."

Joffrey couldn't help but huff out a laugh and turned around to start scrubbing himself clean.

"Hey..." Viserys started. "That's my shower gel!"

"What? No." A frown. "That's mine, you idiot. It's got the lion sticker on it."

Viserys leaned forwards and squinted. "Oh, right. Thought it was a dragon."

Joffrey tossed his boyfriend the right tube. "There. I think you need to go to the optician again, your sight has gotten even shittier."

"I don't even need glasses!", Viserys called. "Like hell I do!"

"You have a fucking dioptre of -4! You accidentally brush your teeth with shaving cream when you don't wear your specs!"

"That was one time!"

"Yeah, and you whined about it for weeks!"

Viserys turned off the water and stepped out of the spacious shower. "I do not whine, I'm a Targaryen!"

"Your last name's got nothing to do with it", Joffrey snarled and marched over to the boxes, pulling out a pair of sweatpants and an old T-shirt. "Rock-paper-scissors for who gets the pants, as usual?"

Viserys grinned. "You're on."

And, of course, Viserys lost.

"Fuck", he complained and pulled on a new pair of boxers and the T-shirt. "This is pretty cold, y'know?!"

"How the fuck do you think I feel?!", Joffrey hissed. His whole upper body was covered with goosebumps. 

Viserys went through the box, pulling out another pair of sweats and a shirt alongside Joffrey's red and golden blanket. "We have the kettle ready?"

"Yeah I think so", Joffrey muttered and pulled on the shirt. "But we got no tea leaves."

"Shit", the other man moaned and wrapped the blanket around himself. "Living room?"

"Sounds good. The couch is in, right?"

"It better be, otherwise I'll sue the movers", Viserys grumbled and shuffled down the polished wooden stairs. "Do we have any milk for the pizza?"

Joffrey shook his head. "Fridge is empty. It's really just pizza."

Viserys was about to complain when his socked feet slipped on the immaculately polished parquet.

"Fuck!", the silver-haired man shrieked and flailed, slipping about a metre before barely being able to grab the richly decorated beam in the hallway.

Joffrey started cackling. "Look at you! What are you doing, lousy lizard, attempting a figure skating career?!"

Viserys whirled around and pointed at his boyfriend, neck flushed in embarrassment. "Shut up, worm-lips! You try it, for god's sake!"

Joffrey wiped his eyes and sniffed. "You're all red. I knew it. Fuck the dragon shit, you Targaryens are actually lobsters."

"Come over here and I'll choke you!"

"Heh~", the golden-haired man lilted. "Didn't know about that kink of yours."

Viserys really wanted to choke him now, and not in a sexual way. Possibly. He'd have to consider it.

Joffrey took a step onto the shining parquet and promptly lost his footing, slamming onto the ground with a thundering thud.

Viserys snorted and carefully shuffled over to his knocked-down boyfriend, tears of laughter stinging in his eyes. "What a move, Joff. Maybe _you_ should consider a figure skating career, hm?"

Joffrey glared at him and sat up, touching the throbbing back of his head. He winced and shoved at Viserys' thigh. "Shut up, idiot. And help me up."

Viserys was still grinning, but pulled Joffrey to his feet without toppling them both over. The doorbell rung and Joffrey pulled off his socks before rushing to the door.

"Why are you late, huh?!", he snarled at the delivery boy, yanked the pizza carton out of his hands and slapped twenty stags into the boy's palm. "Screw your tip and piss off."

Joffrey slammed the door shut and came over, inhaling the scent of the steaming hot pizza. "Food's here!"

"Finally!", Viserys yelled from the spacious living room. Moving boxes were filling up most of the space, but Viserys had made a makeshift table out of one of them in front of their too expensive couch.

Joffrey flopped down next to him and threw his legs over Viserys' lap while the silver-haired man opened the pizza carton and tore off two pieces, handing one to Joffrey.

"Pineapple pizza is the best", Viserys said and licked his lips, Joffrey's eyes following the motion unconsciously. 

"Pity we don't have milk to dip it into, though", Joffrey complained and grabbed another slice. "How's everyone thinking it's gross?"

"Gross? It's delicious! Who said it was gross?!"

"Dad, Robb Stark, uncle Renly, Grandfather, Ramsay...", Joffrey started counting and Viserys frowned.

"At least Ramsay ought to have some sort of taste, even if he is a bastard", he said and wrinkled his nose disdainfully. 

"You don't say."

The pizza was gone quickly enough and feeling full and sated, Viserys curled up against his boyfriend with a yawn.

"Wanna put on some music?", he mumbled and Joffrey fumbled for his phone to connect it with the Hi-Fi hanging from the wall, something they had ordered to early and had it delivered to the new house instead of going through the pain of moving it there.

The blond put on a song and Viserys snorted.

"Rains of Castamere? Don't you ever grow sick of that song?"

"Nope", Joffrey replied, putting emphasis on the '-p'. He put his phone down and pulled the red and golden blanket he had brought down with them over their curled up bodies. "Don't fall asleep on me, idiot."

Viserys halfheartedly showed him the finger. "Yeah, yeah..."

When Joffrey's phone ran out of battery and turned itself off with a tiny buzz, both of them were fast asleep.


End file.
